“what if she was your sister? Your friend, your wife or your daughter? What if she was someone you cared about? Someone you knew”. This line of questioning is what I have termed “the personalisation of the rape appeal”. It is the apparent need to create a personal connection to the victim in an attempt to garner sympathy from an otherwise apathetic or sometimes, even antagonistic crowd.

Far too many times I’ve seen this done and far too many times the implications of it have irked me. This arguement should not need to be made and the fact that it becomes necessary at times is testament to the failings of our society and decadence in our humanity. Does it really need to be someone close to you before you care? Are your sisters, daughters and wives the only women on earth who matter?

What if she was your daughter? Well, what if she wasn’t? What if she was someone else’s daughter? What if she was Someone you’ve never even met and never will? What if she was Uwa from Uniben? What if she was Jennifer from Kaduna? What if she was just a human being? Would that be enough to make what happened to her terrible? Would that be enough to make you care? Enough to want to grant her justice? To want to fix the world so it never again happens to another woman or man.

What if you cared enough to want to make a change? What if instead of echoing “not all men” and basking in self righteousness, you actually lent your voice to effect this change forever? What if you inspired others to do the same? What if you succeeded? What if you saved lives? What if we ended rape and sexual assault for forever? What if we at least tried?